Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
