I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
