I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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