He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
