Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Its about making memories worth repressing
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
