Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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