You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Randomize
