laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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