its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the day after is always just damage control
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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