Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
