the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
