Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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