sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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