i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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