I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
