I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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