a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
