I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
