Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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