Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
