We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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