I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
