mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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