i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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