I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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