there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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