New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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