Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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