So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
In other news, I just burned my penis
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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