whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
