Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
