Who wears a wallet chain?!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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