Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
