i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
