This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
