Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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