The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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