Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
