i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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