I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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