she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
