oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize