how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
