I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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