Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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