i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
