I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
