well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
