giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
