my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
