So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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