so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
