end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
